Why we hate the Twins...
As much as RC wishes the Royals could be like the Twins, there might not be a team in baseball that we hate more. For instance:
-We hate that catcher Joe Mauer is probably the most arrogant-looking player we’ve ever seen.
-We hate the way Ron Gardenhire looks when he sits in the dugout.
-We hate how their fans invade Kauffman Stadium whenever the Twins come to KC.
-We hate that garbage pit the Twins play in. The place has a white ceiling, for Christ’s sake! Who the hell puts baseball in a facility with a white ceiling?
-We hate that the garbage pit the Twins play in is named after Hubert H. Humphrey.
-We hate how whenever someone pitches Jacque Jones or Torii Hunter inside, they stare down the pitcher and act all bad.
-We hate that Hunter spells his first name with two 'i's.
-We hate the movie Little Big League.
-We hate how Lew Ford gets more cheap hits than Ken Harvey and Angel Berroa combined.
-We hate how Twins fans chant "Leeeeew" whenever Ford gets one of his bloop singles. In fact, this might be one of the biggest reasons we hate the Twins.
-We hate that half the runs the Twins score are softer than a goose down pillow.
-We hate that their second baseman’s last name is Punto. What kind of name is that?
-We hate them for creating Christian Guzman, even though he’s now annoying RC in Washington, rather than Minnesota.
-We hate the “Circle me, Bert” signs that Twins fans hold up at games, desperately hoping that Twins announcer Bert Blyleven will give meaning to their pathetic lives by drawing a circle around them on the Twins broadcast. Next time we go to a Twins/Royals game, we'll be wearing this:
-We hate Bert Blyleven.
-We hate that Kirby Puckett, who we actually liked during his playing days, really let us down with his conduct off the field. Yes, we know he was acquitted, but come on…
That’s a pretty exhaustive list. Of course, as much as we hate the Twins, we might hate the White Sox even more. Sorry about the rant, but sometimes RC just has to let loose.